Writers in a rush

While the militiamen and enthusiasts of Montezuma County are stocking their arsenals by purchasing every available gun in the Four Corners, many of us writers are quietly wondering what will happen once President-elect Barack Obama takes the next logical step and bans the use of writing utensils in America. I think the saying goes something like "The pen is mightier than the sword." As soon as the President realizes that pens are more dangerous than conventional weapons, we’re going to see a police state where liberals remove the ink cartridges from perfectly good ballpoints in order to destroy them.

When will America wake up and read the calligraphy on the wall?

Local writers, take a stand! Go to every stationary store across the Four Corners and purchase all the ordinary ink pens in stock. If you can afford it, buy the fancy fountain pens, gel tip gliders, graffiti markers, highlighters, mechanical pencils, regular wooden pencils (in all varieties of hardness), and laundry pens. Especially laundry pens.

A bullet only leaves an impression, but a good ink pen can make a point.

Jon Stewart has some words for our neighbors

The Daily Show recently lobbed some biting -- and very funny -- criticism toward our neighbors to the West, Utah, after the Mormon Church spent as much as $22 million to help support the anti-gay marriage Proposition 8 passed in California in the recent election.



Thanks to The Agitator for the link.

some outgoing words

My fellow Americans,
If I could have your ears and eyes for just a minute, I'd like to boast. Now I'm not one to brag on my accomplishments, but I'm going to, just one time. For the last 8 years my administration and I have led America down a path of errors. A pointless war taking many lives, young and old, not to mention a, ugh, heck of a lot of money. I've put the economy in the tank, and strained relations with just about everyone. I could go on.
I ask you my fellow Americans, to remember me and my errors for being the catalyst that made millions upon millions of complacent slackers, many of whom have muttered the phrase "my vote doesn't count, its pointless" actually get out there and vote. Without my bumbling and poor decision making, Americans young and old would have voted the same old way, or not at all. I've managed to turn my party inside out, and inspired people to believe that change is possible within a society that believes in democracy. Without me, the greatest election in American history would have been nothing more than an election day on a regular old Tuesday in November. Please, remember me for that one accomplishment.

W.